MD Anderson

I do not want to steal Marshall's thunder, but I did want to catch y'all (as they say in Texas a lot) up on where we are. Marshall was not in remission- in fact he was far from it at a whopping 32 percent leukemia blasts in his marrow still when he was biopsied at LDS Hospital in Salt Lake. The first thing the doctor asked was if we have any rich relatives to help pay for a potential clinical trial in Texas at MD Anderson since he had already called Huntsman and surrounding institutions and they said there was nothing more they could do for him. "Nothing more they could do". I was not expecting to hear those words for a very long time. Prior to the doctor coming in we had already discussed the possibilities. We both FELT that he would not be in remission, but we always have that hope of an unexpected miracle!
   
Marshall said with a smile, "ok what is next?" Through tears I asked a lot of questions. Luckily our wonderful sister in law Julie came not too long after to take me to lunch so I could not mope for long! I wanted to give Marshall some time alone in case he needed to cry, but he did not. We packed up our bags and took a neutropenic Marshall home where we started the beginings of a journey to Texas in hopes of "something more we could do" and here we are!

After a 10 miler with wonderful sisters Julie and Melanie, visits with many family members and surprise friends (Jason Brown!), a wonderful general conference and a few family pics, we hit the plane. I was nervous to fly with him alone because he had to stop taking his blood thinner prior to being seen (you think the possibility of blood clots is higher on an airplane- try being a blood cancer patient on an airplane!) and he had kankles due to water retention (first time that has ever happened in his treatment). So he had to balance elevating feet to avoid more retention and walking around just enough to avoid blood clots.

We miss our boy like crazy! A marvelous member of the ward here named Sherilyn picked us up and took us to our hotel where we have been going to and from the amazing cancer center of MD Anderson ever since. The lines are crazy long. The waiting is even longer. Yet the staff and the doctors are efficient and kind. When we were going through demographics the lady checking us in had never heard of the "LDS" faith. Marshall jumps on every opportunity he can to share his testimony of the gospel. The other day his brother Jordan sent me a text saying he'd just received the best phone call of the day. Marshall had accidentally pocket dialed him while sharing his testimony to a man outside our shuttle.  That same shuttle ride there were 2 college students from Brazil who asked how I know Portuguese. I told them I read the Book of Mormon! I can't imagine going through this trial without the gospel truths.
 
Well in summary, last biopsy showed that Marshall is now at 61 percent blasts. To calm his cancer, but HYPE him up they gave him 15 mg of dexamethasone yesterday. Right now he is sleeping beside me after his spinal tap and receiving two more units of blood.  This is the last test to see if he qualifies for the blinotumomab study that we are hoping to get into. If he does, we will post more details about that. It is not a chemotherapy, but an immunotherapy.

Cameron, a friend, has also been a caregiver and described it in a way that resonates. "Over the next two months, our lives were turned upside down. Before [his wife] was diagnosed with this awful disease, we both held full-time jobs. After the diagnosis, [she] could not work, and I could only work part-time. I also was responsible for [her] and our daughter. This was an overwhelming experience, and I often found myself dwelling on the worst case scenario, despite my best efforts to stay positive. I often feared that [she] would die, we would become broke, and I would have to raise [our baby] all alone. As a result, I would often break down and cry alone. But, whenever I was around [her], I would never shed a tear. I knew that [she] depended on me to be the strong one, and the last thing she needed was to see my fears.

[She] and I had many family, friends, and even strangers to help us during this time. Many offered comforting words, and others offered financial assistance. I always encourage other cancer caregivers to use all the help that is offered to them. It will allow you to realize that you are not going through this by yourself, but you have people who care about you.

Being a cancer caregiver is an extremely difficult job, and you will definitely experience many different negative emotions. However, this is a job that you cannot simply quit; therefore, you have to remember to hold on to the hope that everything will get better."

I still have that hope! Hope that new immunotherapy will work! Hope in Jesus Christ that he overcame death! Hope that unexpected miracles still happen daily!