Our Hail Mary Pass

The expression began in the 1930's at Notre Dame; the football team referred to a long range desperation pass with little chance of success as a "Hail Mary" pass. When Amanda and I found out I had relapsed again and sought out the CART19 treatment I began joking this was our "Hail Mary" pass. In other words, my cancer and I have been battling back and forth; now it's the fourth quarter and time is running out, it's time for that perfectly placed touch down pass!

As you know from our previous post we had a scary trip to the ICU just after Labor Day. With my immune system at zero I fell victim to a nasty, and nearly fatal infection. I am convinced that the faith and prayers of so many carried us through. I was released from the hospital on Thursday. I am extremely weak, and often tired, but I am alive and grateful.

On Friday I had another lumbar puncture with chemo. We pray it will come back clean as the last three have. We're just trying to stay busy and not worry about the results. We should know by Tuesday. If/when it is clean then we can finally move forward with the T-Cell treatment. Until then I am focused on regathering my strength and energy. I was uplifted by the following scripture this morning:

Isaiah 40:29,31 "He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength...they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk and not faint."

Finally, I am so grateful for my amazing wife/friend/companion Amanda. I often feel that her journey is more difficult than my own. I've received such kind and inspiring words from friends and others but the real hero is my wife. She carries the burden of the unknown, the "how longs" and "what ifs". Trying to raise a son and care for her husband 1700 miles away from home in a strange city. Sleepless nights on awkward hospital furniture with blinking lights and monitors. Managing medical bills and insurance claims, medication infusions and aches and pains. Abandoning all other plans to be a caretaker, fundraiser, and nurse. Yes I may have ALL but she does it ALL. 

I love you Sweetheart, you are the most amazing person I know. Whatever I try to do "it wouldn't be enough" - but I'll do it anyway :)

Click Here to listen to "It Wouldn't Be Enough"