Anxiously Waiting

2nd Transplant Day July 5, 2013

Anxiously waiting are some lyrics from a song Marshall wrote for my niece Ellie. If you'd like to see it click here. Today is Doctor day. Visiting the bone marrow clinic hasn't happened for a full THREE WEEKS! I feel my blood get hotter as I anxiously look up Marshall's blood results.  It seems the closer we get to the time he relapsed last year, the anxiety gets a little worse for me. I am just so grateful that it doesn't happen as often as once a week now. It's every few weeks unless something bizarre is going on with him.
But the labs are good! Again! Phew. I admit it is very hard to forget the feeling of anguish that came flooding over me that fateful February day last year. It has now been 7 months since Marshall's transplant. Last time he made it to 8 months before he relapsed. Do I feel astronomically better about it this time around? You better believe it! For one thing, he achieved full remission in April of last year. Second transplant he stayed in remission in Houston, TX on the biotherapy for 3 months prior to transplant day. The first transplant he'd barely achieved full remission right before transplant from the chemotherapy and radiation.

Just before 1st transplant

Day of 1st transplant. June 1, 2012

It has been a rough adjustment (at least for me) these last few months. Things have been going so well besides Marshall's dizzy spells that happen a few times a day now. We are adjusting to my early morning work schedule and Marshall leaving for work right as I come home so we don't need a sitter for Kez.
We have also been trying to become social again instead of spending hours in the hospital, or having to socialize via technology to avoid germs, or on the computer researching.  Somedays it feels like everyone is so busy with their overscheduled lives that we have not been a part of the last few years. Hey- it's not their fault they went on with life as normal and that we had no time at all for them while we were in the hospital, Texas, and avoiding germs. At least my house is always clean and I am reading 5 book right now. So we are gradually trying to build our lives again now that Marshall's immune system rocks. It's tough because we have been in this spot once before. Last year to be exact. With such high hopes that were destroyed. I am not going to let that stop me from having them again though! "Most people pursue pleasure with such breathless haste that they hurry right past it"-Kierkegaard.

We have many awesome friends who have helped with donations and some were constantly sending me ways that might help Marshall's leukemia. Wowza- I cannot even begin to tell you ALL the different ways people said his cancer could be cured. I will tell you the most outrageous one was my friend telling me he should start drinking MY urine! Ick. (Sorry if you're reading this Arthur). Some of our friends have been trying to go vegan or vegetarian and it's made me think a little about our diet and my studies on nutrition.  As of late, that little spark of interest I had about international health I have been holding on to inside, maybe even expanding a little through my cancer research, has been ignited once again. I do have a goal to study international health for a graduate degree. Working for the Global Service Center is definitely a step in the right direction too. 

So many days we just don't want to be 'the cancer family' anymore (sometimes we wonder if that is why people don't want to socialize too). We discussed seriously if we should move to Arizona without Marshall finishing his degree. But the fact of that matter is, he wants to finish his degree first. So, while I am here I am determined to make the most of it and be involved in making my surroundings in Utah and my home better. My scientific mind constantly wonders what caused the leukemia in the first place. Refineries? Bad air? The wrong food? Stress? Genes? Bad water? Chemicals? Chance? There are SO many possibilities. So, I am starting with nutrition that I studied back in college on my new blog To Our Health, Future, and Bettering Our World.